According to a survey conducted by the Vice-President of the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC), Dr Jessica Leong, the top three causes for marital instability that led to divorce include personality differences, frequent quarrels and a lack of communication. One in four respondents cited adultery as the main reason for their divorce.
While it seems that time helps to heal the wounds - the proportion of men and women feeling sad fell over time - sadness was still the top negative feeling experienced. Other common negative feelings among the divorcees, more than half a year after their split, include being worried, guilty and restless.
However, some factors such as having a support network or not viewing divorce as a personal failure, can help one to adjust to life after divorce.
Counsellors say it was also important for couples to communicate well, in a way that is mutually respectful. Dr Leong suggested more public education in pre-tertiary and tertiary schools, when people tend to start dating.
134 divorcees took part in the survey. 45 men and 89 women were asked to fill up a form with questions ranging from the early indicators of marital instability and the trigger event that led to the divorce. They were also asked to share to their experiences - how they felt, thought and behaved - after the divorce.
Additionally respondents were asked if they felt that their marriages could have been saved. They were also asked about factors which helped them to positively adjust post-divorce.
Are there other reasons why couples here get divorced? Do divorcees have the support systems they need?
Sources: “Why couples here go for divorce”, "Stories differ inside and outside court", "Erasing the scars, dealing with the hurt" (The Straits Times, 23 Nov 2015)