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29 Jul 2012, 11.55PM

23 comments & replies |by Guest | Our Common Space

Hi,

I had a very complicated case. I am legally separated from my previous marriage in 2010 and in 2011 I knew someone and now I had a baby girl with her. Both are foreigners and I am going through some complication and delayed processes in my divorce as my wife wanted to fight for maintenance which I refused. As this process will take some time, both my baby girl and the mother left everything in their country and come here with me. I am happy with them and especially for my baby girl, I felt she deserved the right to be with her mom and dad. However I am unable to get them to stay long enough here. I tried applied for a long term visit pass and appealed twice but not successful. I understand fully that one have to be legally marry to apply for it but in my case, I am unable to marry.

I wish to get advice on what i can do to allow both my baby girl and the mother to be here. ICA refuse to advice me and I felt they are very unhelpful. I cannot leave them in their country as nobody is capable of taking care of them. Is cruel to throw the mother and my baby alone. I have this thinking if all failed I might give up my citizenship and go live there with them. This will be the last choice if I have no solution.

I hope I can be directed to the right department for better advice. I know that law and regulations us needed but there should be some flexibility given like my case.

Appreciate any comments

714 views | 23 comments & replies |

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Guest

30 Jul 2012, 11.56AM

Settle your divorce as soon as possible.

In the meantime, apply for long-term visit pass for your CHILD, see here, http://www.ica.gov.sg/page.aspx?pageid=176&secid=171

As for your new partner, as you do not have a legal marriage with her, you should know by now it's not easy to obtain LTVP for her. What you can do is find work for her here. But take note that after you settle your divorce, and if your new partner is holding onto a work pass, you MUST seek approval from MOM before you register your marriage.

I wish you best of luck.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.12PM

Hi,

Thank you for your replay and advice but unfortunately I do not think I am able to apply for my baby girl as I do not have a valid marriage certificate with the mother, although under the birth certificate I am the father. My attempt to apply for a LTVP for my baby girl had failed as well.

As much as I wanted to settle my marriage fast but the law required a 3 years separation and it might taken even longer if the other party want to fight for something

I truly appreciate your suggestion.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 3.41PM

you have my sympathy. i went through a divorce many years ago and know what you are going through.

During the years of separation, it is almost as if time stops on the emotional front. on one hand, you are still legally married despite separation and on the other hand, you have moved on emotionally. it is a no man's land. unfortunately, under the law, you do not have much recourse. it does not matter if your child or new partner is foreign, fact is that during separation, you cannot be married until the divorce is completed.

i wish you luck (i don't have an answer for you unfortunately). some of the people here have never gone through separation and are speaking out of schadenfreude. love is hard enough to find in this world and to have the law stop you from pursueing your love, it is hard.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.15PM

Thank you for understanding. It's tough but I guess the law is there for a reason and as much as possible we should respect it. Just that I am lost when there is no alternatives.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 9.12AM

ICA did the right thing. IF ICA can let anyone come in. Women's charter will find you.

He get a girlfriend, born a child and he is not divorce yet.
He is only separated from his wife. ( Even TCS star ) also no use lah.

No advise for you. Because as adults you must bear everything for your poor management in your life.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 10.10AM

give him a break. at least he is doing his part to raise TFR.

however, it is a real legal issue here. a 3 year separation is needed for divorce but if he or she finds love in the interim, is there really no solution for him or her?

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 12.01PM

Hi,

Under my separation clause, we should not interfere with each another lifestyle as if we were never married before. I do not know if I had bleached any law though.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 2.18PM

Women's charter lah. You never read the law meh ?

I got a friend. Court ask him to pay $1800 per month for maintenance leh.

He no choice. "RUN to thailand" liao. Currently working there. Never come back Singapore leh. Passport also renew there.

Your wife ask you to pay how much ? $2000 or $2500 ? Now inflation liao.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.17PM

She had not named any price yet but she did mentioned wanting something. On our deed of separation, it is also written that the husband and wife agreed that there shall be no maintenance for the wife and I wonder if she can still come and ask for it.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 9.49AM

Hahahahaha...................... don't want to pay maintenance. Yet you go find another gf and get her pregnant.

Hahahhahah............. No differents from the TCS star leh. Your gf sure end-up run away with your baby girl loh.

TCS star already ga na liao. You never learn ?

You find ANY MP loh. ANY MP sure say " NO " and "BEHIND" laughing at you leh ! Of course cannot laugh at you in front lah. Or else......... you complaint how ?

you think MP are GOD OF SINGAPORE ? Anything can help ?

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 10.05AM

You CAN BE summon back to the Family Court if you HAVE TO PAY maintenance order for your ex-spouse and child/children (if any). Persistent refusal put put you under police arrest and you will be heavily fine under the Women Charter Act 2000. The ICA is a government body and probably checked up on you and your foreign girl friend. There is no way the authority will approve long term stay as long you are defiant of the Family Court order. Singapore has very strict laws on marriage and if you put your cart before the horse, man, you are in deep deep waters. Marriage is for keeps. Until you get your complete divorce nisi, anyone you intend to sponsor as your partner into Singapore WILL NEVER BE APPROVED. This is the hard reality and you can check with the ICA.

(Master)

Karkadann

30 Jul 2012, 10.40AM

As you are now serving a Separation Order (Women Charter Act, 353), quote "the maintenance of wives and children (if any)......and to provide for matters incidental thereto" applies. I agree with the above Guests' comments. Application to ICA as in your case, to sponsor your lover (and your offspring from her) to enter Singapore will not be approved by the authority as you have a legal case pending. The Family Court needs to verify all affidavits submitted for review and judgement. You have no choice but to put your other woman and child on hold till you obtain your degree nisi. Some people can empathize your case but you simply cannot rush things in your own hand and expect the law to be flexible and understanding. I advise you to adhere to the law or you will further jeopardize your own future and the lives of those whom you have connections.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 11.44AM

Dear all,

Appreciate all comments and replies. As mentioned, mine is a complicated case. My marriage did not work out due to the fact the person I married with is a foreigner (i know some will said I am ***** to go for foreigner) and the reason why we ROM is that she wanted to apply for a PR but after a few appeals, it did not go through. And the fact is also we had never lived together as husband and wife except for the she coming for weeks or me going over for a week and that's all. We have no children at all.

The marriage felt out because I found out that she cheated on me. I shall not bored you guys into details and I filed for a separation. Under the separation, it is clearly stated there is no maintenance as I had not been supporting or providing anything for her during our marriage. And the separation stated that we should not interfere with each another personal life as if we are not married.

I do get and understand the points some of you guys highlighted in terms of the law and ICA's regulations which I totally respect though I felt that they should have better attitudes in serving the public.

One guy said I have bad management on my life and I only have myself to blame. Having said that, nobody is perfect and matter of the heart can sometime lead you to either heaven or hell.

Thank you guys.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 2.30PM

Dear all, ( Not to pin-point anyone ) Just an Example.

I know there is a fake marriage. Call marry for PR between foriegners ( Vietnam, China, Indonesia usually market practices ) and Singaporean.

The guy marry the foriegn girl. In the marriage, he is pay $3000 dollars. And every month, he is pay $400 to $500 dollars. If the girl want to apply PR. He will apply for her and collection a "FEE". There is no children, or sex in marriage. If the girl refuse to pay, she can provide sex TO THE "so CALL HUSBAND" FOR re-payment.

His wife can work in KTV, etc, social escort as well blar blar. If really get caught by the police raid. THe husband just go there and say " My wife come here with her friends and bail her out".

In case of no payment, Some of them call say their wife cheated on him. As his wife is working in KTV. Majority the job is in the sex industry.

The reason for this. PR application have been very very strictly done. ( As the market is spolt ) already.

If the wife really want a PR. She should be "FINDING" a proper job. after marriage.
The chance of getting will be higher. How can marriage and expect PR immediately ?
ICA is no FOOL. AND Singapore is not free for all foriegners. Even we want good

Now it's time where the girl / Wife play him back after wasting her effort.
Did she come here for "FREE" ? NO PR ? NO MONEY ? Sue you for maintenance.

The guy wake up in his dream found that his " Wealth machine" have turn on him.

Now worse by getting another baby. What have that person done ? ( Same case ).

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 2.49PM

"Having said that, nobody is perfect and matter of the heart can sometime lead you to either heaven or hell. "

Some mistake cannot be correction. Or else there is heaven or hell for what ?

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 12.18PM

Dear forum members,

Kindly listen to what I have to say. A forum is a place where people get together to discuss issues, to share experience and knowledge in hope that what little we know can help another person. There is no need to step on another person's open wound, what do you get from it? Why cause more pain when you should try to help, and if you have no desire to help, just walk away, it's really okay.

Thanks and I hope people can see the point I'm trying to establish and please have a good day.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 2.22PM

Dear Mr GOOD HEART,

There is no wound in this man who got a gf and having a baby daughter now. It's just a price to pay as he should get divorce first. Separate is still his wife. OK.

Hope you guys after listen to this person. Will not follow his foot step. Please have a good day.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.23PM

I appreciate all feedback whether if it is positive or negative. I believed in answering and be responsible for one action. I am no perfect person who have some form of emotional factors in myself. I am not asking for sympathy or any form of support in my actions. No doubts about my negative actions in resulting in this situation right now that it can be avoided but along the way came someone into my life which I had accepted. But who knows few years later you might see me posting here again complaining on my current relationship again (which i hope it will not happened) Lolz...

Anyhow, everyone can have your comments towards how you look into my situation and I am definitely paying my dues now. The worse is my baby girl and the mother is paying for my actions as well and they are not complaining (not as if a 3 months old can complain) and I really want to give them the best if I can.

Thank you all again for taking the time and efforts to reply here.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.33PM

I wish that too.

But there are just too many imbeciles, scums, and what noughts.

I am not saying this thread is one.

But even in the threads, and the responses, most of it are written by such people.

You just have to look inside REACH and decide for yourself that there are many, spineless short-sighted Singaporeans.

I am Singaporean and I am greatly disappointed at the "generation" if going by the posts and threads written here in REACH.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 4.38PM

Let me tell you a short taxi-story. (I hope you are not the taxi driver.......haha.......Singapore full of taxi driver's stories).

This fifty-ish taxi driver told me, he visits Vietnam often once afew months to stay there 2 weeks. He visits his Vietnamese "wife".

His Singaporean wife and children "approve" his trips, and are well aware his overseas trips.

There do not appear to be any discord, disharmony, or whatever, between himself and his family here, and they even travel once in awhile together even.

He seem proud of himself and appear happy, to share the story with me. He was all smiles disclosing the details among other things.

I guess if you wish, you can replace "Vietnam" with "Batam" and it would still sound as a typical Singaporean (taxi-driver) story.

Guest

30 Jul 2012, 5.43PM

No problem. You can set up a company and employ your wife. Under immigration and MOM rule, your foreign wife can bring along her child (and her parent to take care of your child) if she holds certain category of work visa (please check MOM and ICA website).

(Guru)

GuardianAngel

31 Jul 2012, 2.55PM

Check and call for family service help, seek for your MP help as well....!

Guest

2 Aug 2012, 8.57AM

I am sympathetic to your situation and unfortunately, I don’t really have any advice or solution for you.

My only comment is on your mention of giving up your citizenship to live with “there with them”. Pardon me for being sensitive, but it does sounds a little like a threat if you don’t get what you want. It sounds like you are giving up your citizenship out of spite rather than you wanting to be a citizen of another country. I hope that citizenships are not treated lightly and used casually.

Your divorce will happen sooner or later. If after your formal divorce, and all efforts and avenues had been explored, yet you cannot bring your new family in, I guess there is good reason to settle somewhere else. Even then, do consider carefully if you really wish to be the citizen of another country before giving up on your Singapore citizenship.