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Discussion Forum

12 Jul 2012, 3.17PM
3 comments & replies |by Psychologist (Master) | Learn and Earn
Forty years ago, it was easy at least for me to brush off my matured boss. There wasn't any internet available in the 60s and I remember my kakis would all regretfully tell the ol' boss they couldn’t meet for drinks because they had prior commitments like having to baby-sit at home (yes, very pathetic really). My ex-colleagues would then all secretly go to the bar (not the one in subordinate courts) and lol about our loser boss. (PS please note I'm not referring to anyone or any company in particular)

Now, time has change, indeed.  Today the internet and its social media have made debut in our reformed life. When we log into our favorite social network whether it is Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin etc there will be a friend request waiting for any of us - what if it is from your boss?Asking approval to be your social network friend.  Yes??? What are you going to do? 
Well, I’ve found the best way to handle this (putting myself in a young lad's shoe) is humbly deny, deny, deny. Pretend or act shocked as you never saw the "friend request" on the network. Under no circumstances should you reject the dictator-boss request. He will "keel you" for sure.  The boss is smarter than you and will be able to see this and you will be fired, as your boss will assume you have something to hide in the name of heaven.  Instead, you are to pretend as if you never saw the request. When your boss "jokingly" asks you the following day if you’re ignoring the request (be a smart alec to cue a uncomfortable laughter) you are to play dumb. Yes, D U M B! The correct response in this situation is for any raw person to say:  "OMG! You sent me friend request on (name of social network)? My ***** ***** computer never got it. Ai-yoh! Resend it! I gotta rush this document urgently now, boss!"

There is a 95 percent chance (note: this number has absolutely no scientific merit) that your busy boss will simply forget he ever tried to friend you and you can continue to live your online life boss-free. Whoopee!

Be warned: there is a chance, however slight, that your boss may return back (from the dead) and confirm that he did in fact "sent" to the right person. At this point, he may probably send you a message alerting you again. In that case, you are to suddenly "find" the friend request and prayerfully accept it. I’m sorry, my netizen befriender, but your online life being so unlucky this time and is like "game over".

You must now go through the debilitating process of sterilizing your online identity, shoving all your PG materials you downloaded secretly. Sayonara all foul-mouthed netizen comments and hunk/chick pics. The only info you should keep on your boss-appropriate social networking profile are:

Proper Earthling Name (minus the salutation "Werewolf/Vampire")
Your Current Hybrid Location (not that haunted house) 
Age (OMG, unless you’ve been lying about this)
Occupation (Lol, state your current job and not the one with u-know-what)

Your uploaded profile photo should be real cool or meek enough to proudly show to your aging Ah Kong and not your lover. Consider your profile now muzzled.  (Click!)

If you’re on Facebook, there is an X way out (am I kidding?)

On Facebook, users can configure their privacy settings to control what people are allowed to see about them. (The manipulating creators have Facebook obviously had nosy bosses) You can set it so that only certain networks (those you have funky time in Poly, ITE, Uni with) are allowed to view photos, leave comments on your barbed wire wall, view your status updates, have access to your posted items, etc. You may give networks access to as much or as little information about your boring self as you pleased. Feel to hide private info, screen name info, applications, or anything strictly forbidden in your profile. Once again, I recommend you set it so that your boss is only able to see the info available on your NPB library card or driving license (if you have one).

You can also set up what is called a "exclusive limited profile" that allows you to determine which fields your boss or Not Friends are allowed to see and not indulge in fantasies. The only problem here is that you only have one limited profile. You can’t create separate profiles for separate groups. I can’t give if he's my little brother access to one portion and then try and restrict the rest of my limited profile from seeing it. That’s what the privacy settings are for, so make sure you’re using everything correctly.

The internet can be a real funky market when you’re forced to invite your boss into your online home. If your boss comes a’knockin’ saying "hi there!", don't drop dead yet...do your best to make it look like you’re off-line helping your mama washing dishes. However, remember to never, ever reject a boss’s request to be your pal. This will eliminate your prospective career advancement opportunities TREMENDOUSLY. Instead, invite him in as a good citizen, friendly and kind and make him feel welcome. He doesn't have to know he is being confined to one very zzz boring room you have created. 

I hope you enjoy reading this.  Good luck and happy working in your job!

(The contributor is an experienced psychologist and an editorial staff writer)

586 views  |  3 comments & replies  | 
Guest
12 Jul 2012, 3.46PM

Me (and a good number of my friends and colleagues!) will first do the "pretend never receive!!" tactic.  When we are asked point blank, however... we blanky inform them in a matter-of-factly tone that "I am sorry.  You are not my friend.  You are my boss.  My private life is private - just like how you would like to keep yours."

So far have not met overly thick-faced bosses, I must say.
Guest
12 Jul 2012, 5.00PM
strange, that is how my son reacts to my request to be his friend on facebook...
but then i am not his boss... i can force him to be my friend or i cut his access to facebook
Guest
12 Jul 2012, 6.26PM
The trouble these days is that the line between office and home is getting increasingly blurred. When bosses make a friend request, this is not appropriate. The same goes when a staff make a friend request to the boss. Some lines has to be drawn. HR departments should have guidelines for this.
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