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30 Aug 2012, 4.00PM

51 comments & replies |by REACH Administrator

Original Thread created on 28 Aug 2012, 21:55

In his National Day Rally speech, PM Lee Hsien Loong said that Singapore must always be the best Home where Singaporeans feel they belong, show loyalty to the country and take pride in what Singapore has achieved together. As families are central to what Home means, Singapore must be where people want to get married, have children and bring up the next generation.

PM Lee reiterated that Singaporeans are having too few babies, with the Total Fertility Rate (TFR) falling steadily to 1.2 last year. More Singaporeans are also remaining single or marrying later, and married couples are having fewer children.

Highlighting some of the views shared by Singaporeans, including requests for more flexible work arrangements and accessible childcare, PM Lee assured that the National Population and Talent Division (NPTD) is consulting widely and studying the various concerns carefully as part of the population issue. He added that a package will be worked out by the time White Paper is published.

Meanwhile, some broad ideas based on the views received so far, were highlighted:-

Promote flexible work arrangements and improve work culture and employer attitudes;
Give housing priority to couples with children;
Have some form of paternity leave to signal the importance of the father’s role and shared responsibility for raising children;
Create a Medisave account with a small sum for each child at birth to defray childhood medical expenses;
Keep pre-school affordable and raise the standards of the sector;
Provide financial support for childcare and infant care for low- and middle-income households;
Continue to help operators set up childcare centres in housing estates and near workplaces; and
Improve the baby bonus

While these measures will address practical problems that couples face, it is also about having the right values and deep motivations as Singaporeans will get marry and have children because of a sense of fulfilment. There is hence a need to change our mindsets and norms, and create the right social environment for Singaporeans to settle down and start a family.

Share your thoughts on PM Lee’s speech on building a best Home and encouraging Singaporeans to settle down and start a family.

Updated on 30 Aug 2012

Singapore will see higher birth rate and become a more gracious society if it can achieve better work-life balance, said women participants at a post-National Day Rally forum on Wednesday. The forum was attended by some 60 women participants from 11 organisations and six institutes of higher learning. Speaking at the dialogue, Madam Halimah Yacob, Minister of State for Community Development, Youth and Sports said that work-life balance is one of the areas where Singapore needs “a quantum leap, fresh ideas and fresh thinking”.

Participants at the forum also noted that stress and commitments at work and school were at the core of ungraciousness towards others, something that Prime Minister Lee had also flagged at the National Day Rally.

Read the full story at “Work-life balance still a key issue: Women” for more details.

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Guest

27 Aug 2012, 1.42AM

The 1st point is very crucial - we can talk about this endlessly but end up with no change in people's attitude.
Promoting flexible working hours may be difficult to monitor for some industries, but have shorter+ fixed working hours for those who want to have more time with family. Don't call this part-time. It should be considered full-time. They may forgo better pay / promotions / more job responsibilities but they are happier to have a better work-life balance.

Put yourself in the shoes of a parent of a child at different stages of childhood. You work from 8.30 am to 6pm for 5 days a week, sometimes with a half-saturday too. This doesn't include the extra hours you may need to put in. Plus the traveling time to and fro work and home and place to pick up your child.
A typical childcare centre opens from 7am to 7pm.
A primary / secondary school varies in terms of their start and end hours, with some days of extra hours. After-school care may be available in some primary schools.
It can be quite a mad rush before and after work to settle down your child, what more those with more than one child, with different schedules, temperaments (for those with toddlers) etc. With the evening affairs like cleaning up, making dinner, sitting down for dinner, catching up with school work and perhaps some family/tv time, tucking in for bed etc. - it is really really exhausting after all. We are already exhausted by the fact that time flies so fast everyday in our life. The stress builds up in us parents. Where does that leave you with quality time with your child?
Many opt for foreign domestic helpers - they are there all the time at home to help care for the young ones and it's considered cheaper than sending your child to childcare/student care. But we all know it's not a first choice.

I'm in my mid 30s, a graduate mother of three young kids - the youngest being 4 years old. Determined to be maidless. Worked all the way till this year - requested for part-time but my department seemed hesitant to grant this. No grouses from me, as I had always put my family first and so I said "oh what the heck..." and happily resigned early this year (before I delivered my baby). Plan is to re-join the workforce when the eldest starts primary school. Others see it as a 'waste' - they say why not get a maid, why not let our parents take care of the children etc.
But to me, parenthood is a once in a lifetime opportunity - you get this one chance in your life to be a parent - to see them all the way through the years - from a newborn to an infant to toddler and all the way till they are all grown up. I've missed the chance of really watching my 2 older kids grow - cos I had worked full-time and they attended childcare. Now is the time for me to fully immerse myself with the bringing up of my children, with the arrival of a 3rd one. It's also too much to handle 2 full-time jobs - a mother at home is after all also doing full-time work.

So...... Less time at work please, for parents who opt for this or you'll lose these people one day.
And... Get more opinions from graduate mums - perhaps do a survey on a pool of ntu/nus graduates who are now in their 30s to find out how they feel about having children and how many are doing just that.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 8.43PM

Overseas have job sharing. Such a good and simple idea on the plate yet the govt doesnt want to encourage it.

Guest

31 Aug 2012, 12.44AM

(this is not a reply but intended as a continuation to my earlier post.)
The post-rally forum (mentioned above) attended by women talked about another point - how we can move towards being a more gracious society with a better work-like balance. Spot on.

I'm not sure what was being discussed but here's my point of view perhaps worth sharing:

I have nothing against having maids. I truly understand some families especially those with many young children / the elderly or those who are sick, really need an extra pair of hands at home. But for the rest of us, we can actually live without them. It takes real hard work and alot of times, sweat and tears. Yes, the house will not be spick and span and many chores will be left undone.

But really, how is it that other working mothers in other countries do it?
The female brain is wired to do many tasks at one time, what more a working woman and what more a working mother - I don't mean to blow any horn but a working mother is hence truly super-efficient in multi-tasking. If we were to allow flexible/shorter working hours for a better work-life balance, a working mother (a father would seem less likely) who opts for this would have more time to better manage the family and to raise the children.
Furthermore, with no domestic helper, the couple will share the household tasks. By this, they are showing good role models to their children and most importantly they are there to impart positive values to them.

People say, success comes in various forms. With more university places, with more job opportunities, with Everyone being encouraged to work, who's left at home to take care of our children?
It will be a never-ending cycle because many many children and youths are raised with maids at home these days.

We want a more gracious society. We want a gracious Singapore. Simple, it starts at home - living examples at home.

Guest

6 Sep 2012, 9.00PM

Hi,

I really feel for you and agree to what you say. I am fresh graduate from NUS and I went through my education with my son from his birth and he is 3 now. I am in my late 20s.

I totally agree with you that "parenthood is a once in a lifetime opportunity". We cannot turn back time. Why pass your children for others to look after when you have decided to give birth to them? I even mentioned this to my relatives that I do not want to regret missing my child's childhood and they felt that I am unambitious.

I must say that as a student I was more fortunate as I had more flexibility with my time. I was able to telecommute due to understanding schoolmates, as long as I could complete my assignment, they were ok. Although some were unable to understand but I could not blame them as they do not have any children. I try to minimise my time spent in school and only travelling to school when required. I set my weekends to be off limits for school work totally as I also had to manage housework and cooking for my son. As such. I was very fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed/express full-time until he was about 18 months when he started to reject my expressed milk. But we still managed to breastfeed part-time thereafter. Of course, as a result my grades aren't that fantastic, only managed a pass degree. However, my goal in university was to simply graduate in 3 years instead of 3.5 (as a poly graduate, I was given exemption of half a semester instead of having to go through 4 full years). The reason being that the longer I drag my graduation the more I will have to pay back for my study loan as I am on 100% loan (90% from bank and 10% from NUS). Nevertheless, I am glad to be able to graduate on time. Undeniably, telecommuting and flexibility from fellow schoolmates really helped me a lot in being able to spend time with my child and yet be able to pass my modules in order to graduate. I hope that this culture can be spread to corporate world too.

Unfortunately, probably due to less than ideal grades and the current poor economy, I have only managed to get 2 interviews within 2 months after graduation. Currently, I still am unable to secure a job. I must really say that it is really difficult to get a job that promotes work-life balance. Some even have OT as compulsory (expected rather). In one of my interviews, I mentioned to my interviewer that on some days I have to leave by 7pm when my husband goes on business trips. And the reply from the interviewer was, "How often would that be?". I said about once every one to two months. Another experience was with a job agent. Before I mentioned that I have a young child, she was really adamant about asking me to go for an interview for which I had already rejected her 2 times. The reason which I rejected it was because I understand that for a programmer role, you normally have to perform OT. The last programming job I had with an MNC before I enrolled in the university had me working up to 11pm every night. Sometimes as late as 1am. As a mother, it is tough for me to be unable to go home before he sleeps and spend time with him. Moreover, I feel that it is especially important for any parent to spend time with their child in the first 3 years of their life. If we have to work long hours, how would we be able to achieve that? As I have to re-pay my school loans, being a housewife is not an option.

Another point to reinforce is that, even if we were allowed to work from home, there should be limitations on reasonable work load given by the superior or be able to discuss with them. In my final semester, I took up a part-time work role with the school as recommended by my schoolmate. I had to juggle between work, school work and my family. It was one of the most stressful times in my life. Partly due to a tight deadline and few team members in my part-time job, I had to work overnight and over the weekends because I had school commitments in the day. For students, it was supposed to be a maximum of 64 hours allowed in a month (about 3.5 hours a day) during the semester, however, I had to work for longer than full-time office workers because I simply cannot complete it on time given the deadline. Needless to say, I was completely burnt out in 3 months. I left the role after I had graduated and am still looking for another job now. Luckily, I was able to recover from burning out in a matter of 1 month. Sad to say, it is almost wishful thinking to get a job that has stable working hours.

I am glad that you had realised early on before all your kids have fully grown up. Not everyone feel the same way, I have seen many people willing to give up their children's childhood and give all out in their careers or simply not participating in their children's everyday life.

I really hope this problem can be fixed and employer attitudes changed ASAP, for the benefit of all modern parents who wish to work and yet also provide well enough for their family.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 1.33AM

Good idea... So how do you plan to help us achieve this?

We built the country together then you turned around and stabbed us in our backs. You broke all our rice bowls. You insulted, belittled and disempowered all of us. You broke your social agreement to build affordable housing enslaving us to overwhelming mortgages.

You made it a liability and curse to be Singaporean just to enrich yourself. Now you sit there and essentially tell us that we need to breath in clean air cause it's good for us while poluting the very air we breath.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 8.17PM

My mom has always been a homemaker and my dad is uneducated taking home $800 with OT back in 1984 when he bought our current 4-rm HDB at $60k (75x pay).
As my dad was the sole breadwinner, our family did not have vacation, only have mcdonald twice a years during my sis and my birthdays.
I received bursary and I "appreciated" Singapore education system that enables the poor to break out of the poverty cycle via education opportunities. I "was" hopeful and "thought" by studying hard, I can provide for my family and contribute to the society in future.
I have been using the past tenses - appreciated, was and thought cos now, I am earning $3.5k but looking at the current housing prices of $280k (80x pay), if I were to have a family, I really doubt I can provide for my family, children and my parents. It looks like my family will have to slog through the years.
With Singapore's progress, are we really better off?
To me, Government should either control the housing price or increase pay.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 11.39PM

I'm a graduate mother of an 8 month old and I'm at a crossroad now deciding whether to have a 2nd child next year as I’m already hitting 35 (tick-tock tick -tock). Some of these recent discussions have got me thinking and I’ll just like to use this platform to offer some feedback and share some of the considerations I have.

1. 6 months maternity leave – I will seriously consider taking it if I breastfeed, if not, I feel that the current 2+2 arrangement is just nice, as those with less pro-family employers can choose to go back to work after 2 months to safeguard their jobs. I think most mothers would agree that once we start work, no matter how disciplined we are in pumping, the milk supply gets affected, hence the 6 months maternity leave would still lend immeasurable support to the breastfeeding group. Government can consider replacing the 12 days childcare leave with the +2 additional months for dads & moms to share and decide on its use, making it a total of 6 months for those with infants under 2 years.

2. Infant care vs. Infant health - I began placing my child in infant care when he was 3.5 months old and he was constantly sick for the first 4 months. His attendance was below 50% in the first few months and we had to defer his vaccinations for a couple of times until he has recovered from whichever bug he was fighting. He never grew round and plump like the other babies that were home-cared. Needless to say, my 6 days paid childcare leave were used up in less than 3 months and my employers were not very happy with the urgent leaves that I have to take every other week. While it is inevitable for children to fall sick as they build up their resistance, I’ll like to recommend to the government to have some centres offering infant care without air conditions, and keep infant and toddler care groups small, e.g. 8-12 per class, to minimize the spread of diseases. It’ll also be good to give more thought into the layout of the centres (mine had the air-condition blowing straight at some babies). Also be flexible about the rules. E.g. socks are banned because they fear toddlers would slip and fall, however, it should be permitted when they are sleeping as their feet are always cold from exposure to the air conditioning.

3. Nanny vs FDW – I’ve just moved into the estate with my husband, hence we did not managed to get any recommendations of good nannys in the neighbourhood. As the next best alternative, I employed an experienced FDW before I delivered, hoping that she can help take care of my baby while I was at work, but when the time came for me to return to work, I could not trust my FDW to do so. Watching her take risks time and again leaving my child unsupervised in an unsafe settings (e.g. on the changing table), mixing up feeds and feeding times, mixing up nasal drop for oral medication etc, I decided that my baby would be safer at infant care. Hence, unless there is a grandparent’s place where you can park your FDW with during the day to help with caring for the baby, having a FDW may not solve the problem especially when your FDW herself needs supervision.

4. Infant care operating hours – In order to knock off on time, I chose to work from 8.15am-5.45pm. My office commute takes 1-1.5 hours from home. This means that when I leave for work at 6.45am, the childcare is not yet opened, my baby is still asleep, and my husband has to do the drop off. If I get caught in the evening crowd, I would barely make it back in time by 7pm to pick up my baby from infant care. Much as I wish that the infant care closes later, there is also the consideration that my baby (then 3.5 months old when he first started infant care) had to spend 10-11 hours in school each day. Enrolling him in a facility closer to by workplace wouldn’t solve the problem as it meant that he would need to get up even earlier in the mornings. On this matter, I think it would definitely help if parents of young children are allowed to work shorter hours, or knock off earlier. One way is to allow the maternity/childcare leave to be taken for pre-arranged time-offs. If I convert 5 weeks maternity leave to knocking off 1 hour earlier each day, this arrangement could tide me over for 210 workdays (42hr/wk x 5 wks = 210hrs) or roughly up to the time my child turns 1. If something similar of this nature can be arranged till the child turn 6 (i.e. the childcare years), I believe it will definitely make an impact on many parents’ and children lives indeed.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 3.59PM

Point 2 is spot on...

Guest

31 Aug 2012, 9.32AM

Being a new mother myself in my mid 30s, I can really relate to all your points. It pains me to see my 5 month old baby constantly sick in the infant care center. The caregiver-baby ratio is also very high that baby are often left unattended. MCYS prescribed 5:1. What level of quality of care giving will that be? I understand that with a lower ratio, cost will go up, but this is social spending that Governement should consider to subsidise more. Is there any minister or MP, who leave baby in infant care center? Ask them if the 5:1 ratio appropriate? Or all MP/minister has the fortune of grandparental help? And with such high ratio, I understand the stress of the teachers in the infant care center. How then can they faciliatate a nuturing cheerful environment to babies? And I wonder how that will impact babies' in the long term being always neglected.

Governement can give all the help financially etc, but intangible issues is really top most which Governement has not addressed on. Parents without grandparents' help will need to give up their career progress, and that is a big hurdle for couples to have children. In our current work place and culture, which employer will promote one who knock off on the dot to pick up their child from infant care/child care? And with the endless urgent leave taken when the baby/child fall sick, which employer will understand as much, and not discount the career progression of the parent?

Parenthood is endless. After the challenges of infant care/ child care. Next came the enrollment of primary education. I absolutely disagree with the scheme of parent volunteer. It is meant to distinguish those parents who are really sincere in sending their child to that particular school. But is that reason really justified for having such a scheme? This scheme invites an uneven playing field. The rich man child will get into good school and vice versa. They have the means to perform the volunteering work. The hectic middle income parent in a mad rush daily to childcare center will not be able to squeeze out such times for volunteering work as much as he/she wish to. Annual leave or the 6-day childcare leave is already consumed for the closing days of childcare center, or when the child falls sick, which is very common in childcare center. Or even the lower income parent earning hourly wages will never consider volunteer work. Having bread on the table is the priority. I seriously question the meaning of parent volunteer in primary school enrollment. I am not sure if MOE can give me an answer to the meaning of parent volunteering scheme.

I have only one child now, who is 6 month old. Everyday is a mad rush sending the boy to IFC and picking him up from IFC, leaving the parents physically and mentally exhausted. I know i have "foresaked" my career advancement from the regular urgent leave I took when my boy falls sick, and knocking off on the dot daily. But at the back of my mind, I am also concern that I am unable to provide quality enrichment to nurture/develop my boy in this competitive society without my wages increment in the long term, but that is not a near term concern /priority at the moment though I am sure it is on all parents' minds. Importantly, i feel that I cannot afford to have a second child financially, mentally and logistically.

Monetary concern is one. But starting parenthood is a huge committment that many think to lengths before starting a family, and money may not be the only or major consideration for many. The quality of infant care center and its 7pm closure timing, the loss of career progression, the nuturing and development of the child and the educational system are some other considerations. I hope the Government, especially MYCS & MOE may consider more to help childless couple take the first step and 1-child parent, like myself, to consider having a second or even third child. Our current "Singapore" is simply not encouraging parenthood.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 6.21PM

In order for us to give more births and increase our indigenious identity, the government must comply to the following:-

1) Guaranteed lifelong job. If we got retrenced by privte sector, will the government agencies take us in?
2) Insurance coverage for our kids until they are 21 year-old.
3) Increase childcare leave to 12 days until the kid is above 12 years old. We need time to coach them until they completed their PSLE.
4) Provide additional family reunion leave (3 days)
5) Provide 3 days of compulsory leave for elderly care.
6) Restrict 24 by 7 jobs. Force employers to recruit more rotational jobs instead. We need worklife balance.
7) Provide children bonus and cap at 12 year-old. Our salary is not enough to cover our children tuition fees and enrichment courses. Since government wants to build more talents, please sponsor our kids.

Government can get more monies to sponsor our children from those FTs by imposing higher tax on them. They are like a leech and will leave Singapore with all their fortune one day.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 7.27PM

Giving housing priority to couples with children is a good idea but it is also a double edge sword. Some couples prefer to have their own space before starting out a family and this will serves as a penalty as they do not get priority. I believe the key is to be transparent about the housing numbers, how many are allocated for couples with children etc. The transparency of current hdb balloting process can be improved .

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 8.49PM

Your child become talent you benefit. Why must govt sponsor? Govt money comes from citizen. Why should others pay tax to sponsor your child to become talent? When your child earns tons of money, you benefit the most.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 10.48AM

As you can see the problem lies with the higher standard of life. In the past, people don't even care if they have no money, they just make and make when they free. Now we think of so many things before we make, stress can cause impotency. Why make? Father work all day, wife spend and complain not enough money. Wife have affair, child goes to women, men still need to pay. For what really.. Men lose all the way. Men best to be single and enjoy life. Or just make child without marriage.

Guest

1 Sep 2012, 10.35PM

Agree totally with point 6. Please stop this work culture of must b contactable 24x7, n please create the culture of No OT!

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 1.54AM

Paternity Leave is a great step forward!

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 3.56PM

We need all the prvate sector employer to commit, otherwise govt can only watch figures.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 11.53AM

I'm not a graduate mother. But i have 2 children. My elder child is a 2.5 year old toddler and my younger child, a 7 month old. One is attending childcare and the other one in infantcare. Both are at the PCF Sparkletots centre. My elder one grew up in a PCF infantcare centre too.

I just wanted to point out that alot of times, it is also because there is lack of spousal support. No woman, no matter what age, the level of education, the income, will consider to have more children if the spouse is not supportive. No one will be willing to raise the children single handledly if a spouse actually exists. This kind of problem, cannot be solved with more paternity leave, more bonus, more childcare centres, faster housing solutions. If the mentality is "You are the mother, of cos you are responsible", if the mother is the only one the children can rely on, the Mother will not want more children because there is only so much we can do. Don't tell us to get maids. Not every mother has someone else at home to oversee the maid. If we have someone else to help us at home, we will not resort to childcare or infantcare in the first place.

What can the government do to change the mindsets of the daddies (most, i don't mean all), to get more involved and not expect the mummies to always be there, always to pick up the pieces, always the one who take leave to care for the sick children. Nothing what. There is only so much the government can do. I wish to have a 3rd child. But the lack of spousal and family support hold me back. In fact, my parents and in-laws are saying, "Please don't...2 children are enough, don't expect us to help and take over when you the one who want to have children. They are your children, not ours. We've have had our fair share of parenthood. If you cannot cope, then stop". What can we do?? *shrug*

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 4.28PM

I agree with you. It is important to have a supportive spouse and not leave everything to the wife to handle.

However I don't fully agree with your comments on the parent and parents-in-law. Some do try their best, but can be seen struggling to look after their grandchildren. Is it their fault? No. Children run around a lot, and do make noise. It is natural. Parents and parents-in-law may be older in the years, so they struggle to cope. It is not that all don't want to. We, younger ones, also have to understand.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 8.45PM

I can sympathise with you. My mum also suffered such plight. And it's always the money issue. Some men dont want to provide money for kids or spend money on kids. If people are not willing to spend money on kids, it's best not to have any. Dont let the kids suffer. Govt cannot sponsor 100% kids expenses.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 10.59AM

I'm facing the totally different problem here.

I'm a daddy and I'll like to take care of child, however my wife refuse to. I really hope that the government can impose a law stating wife cannot stop husband from taking care of child and if the husband is not working the working wife need to give husband maintenance for his efforts in taking care.

My wife also refuse to take care of the child, it should be both parents who should take care of child. I hope the government can impose law to punish parents who refuse to physically take care of child.

My wife also refuse to pay for child expenses, as she feels husband should pay for child. Please impose a jail term for women who refuse to pay for the child expense.

Grandparents taking care of child should not be the first option as there are negative psychological impact on the child of mistaken parental role. Any parents who throw their child to their grandparents to take care should be caned, jailed or both.

Guest

30 Aug 2012, 4.24PM

Both parents have to play their part and carry out their responsibilities once they have children. If the husband or the wife is not supportive towards the idea of having a family and being responsible for it then this is a personal behaviour and mindset problems which will have to be addressed personally by the couple themselves.

We can expect the government to help make life easier for parents to have more children and to encourage the singles out there to get married but the government cannot watch over our spouse's mindset and behaviour. In such cases, those affected individuals need to have a change of spouse or deal with it the best way they know how.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 7.46AM

Built new and larger HDB flat (1500 sqf and above, 4 bedrooms) and offers it to Singaporean family with 3 children or more as they are the one genuinely need bigger homes. Government may consider to sell it at cost (no profit, no subsidy) as not to overburden of government finances. It is a win-win situation for both.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 11.38AM

The main problem is child care. With extended retirement age, most working grandparents wish to help in the first year of the baby but are unable to. If government can grant Grandparents leave to help till the baby is ready to attend child care centre, we need not rely on foreign maids. Infants should be cared at home rather than in an Infant Care Centre.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 11.38AM

Agreed. There are many cases where infant or toddlers fell sick when they are at Child care because viruses spread among babies. The real issue is that there no one taking care of our children when both parents and grandparents are working.

Even if we could send our babies to infant/child care or their grandparents places, taking public transports is a big hassle for the working parents. Parents who used to taking public transports would usually buy car to reduce the hassle.

Suggestion : One area which the government could go is to link COE with babies. For instance, families with baby/babies could receive discount for COE (especially the current COE is sky high). This move might attract parents to have babies. Parents with babies would know that having babies without the convienence of the car is a big disadvantage. The whole idea is to reduce the hassle for the parents and hence encourage parents to have babies. this concept is similar to giving HDB prioity to families with babies.

thank you

Sunny G

27 Aug 2012, 9.47PM

It is about time that we recognize paternity leave. Let's not further debate but implement by law. Too many years of exploitation by employers hidding behind gazetted labor law. Till today many employers continue allow only 14days annual leave disregard of number of years in service. Suggest a revision of incremental leave subject to a celling.

Parenting is just not about infant care. Is a min 20 years journey. Every stage a different set of priorities. I.e. parent teacher meeting, curricular events supports, moral support and etc. Hence pls do not be Short sighted but implement policies that will accommodate for these growing years. Suggest to legislate yearly parental leave for both parents according to the number of child.

We complaint of youth lagging social graciousness. Why? Because what you see are the generation of youth brought up by the MAID values. Sad but true. Teenagers that could have excel instead were strayed. Don't blame the parents as do they have a choice!

Let's not continue to be naive hoping that employers will voluntarily practice work life balances as it will not happen! Continue to hope and consequences the population will continue to dwindle.

I share our experience as a parent of 3 school going children.

Guest

30 Aug 2012, 4.32PM

I totally agree. When you have a newborn, fathers have an equal right of the amount of time to bond and care for the baby especially when the wife is in the restrictions of confinement. More care and recuperating time would be needed if the wife had undergone a c-section to deliver. Not everybody can afford the services of a confinement nanny. With the husbands being around at least for the first two months of having a newborn, it would help the wives a great deal in terms of recuperating from delivery as well as caring for the baby. Being a father or a man does not mean that they are in any way less entitled to the joys of bonding and caring for the newborn.

I am a woman, a wife and a mother and I totally can see how much a man, a husband and a father would very much want to get involved. Perhaps for those men who are not so inclined towards the idea of bonding with the family and caring for newborns might be more receptive and willing to take up the challenge of parenthood if the government could implement such benefit thereby reducing the stress and fear of losing their employment and source of income. Understanding and cooperation from employers would really help a great deal.

Low birth rate, high living, childcare and educational expenses are a serious problem of the nation. Everyone, including employers has to be involved to play their part and cooperate for the sake of Singapore's future.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 10.05PM

want babies got to have stable income, livelong spouse. otherwise, it will be hell, as widow and divorce parent don't get much subsidize.

it is a nightmare on taking care of kid at the same time to bring food home, unless the other half is financially stable, no liabilities, high income maker who can maintain the family even if they are divorce.

My ex spouse left us when my child was 18 month old, I have a housing loan, and child to manage all by myself, i don't have some much time for my child, as i have to work 3 jobs to sustain our living, bills, my parents are old and not able to help me take care, i have to send her to childcare centre and enjoying the same subsidize rate as those low income family, buying my 2nd hdb, my chance of balloting reduce due to a 2nd timer, end up to provide a home to my child, i have to spend more for getting a HDB 3R flat in open market.

ex spouse don't pay maintenance fees, sending him to jail he still can't pay. so what's the point of having children if you know that the other half cannot maintain simple life style expenses. how much subsidize can the govt give?

1) childcare - $350 per month

2) monthly installment for housing on $260k loan - $ 1,200 per month

3) utilities bill - $150 per month

4) daily expenses - $300 per month

5) transportation - $150 per month

if the mother like myself is just a clerk, making $1,600 per month including CPF.

how are they going to provide the basic for the family?

end up have to get more job, and children got neglected.

i suppose most problem child develop in problem family. why would someone want to take the risk?

think twice before commit to parenthood. dear govt, do something for divorcee with children.

encourage marriage only if the parent is well to do, relationship stable, good health. Don't make the next generation suffer and live like an orphan.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 10.51PM

Given the growing number of couples who settle down later due to career aspirations, assisted reproduction is an area which should receive more focus. This is especially so from the perspective of a supportive work environment.

Although the government in Singapore has been encouraging pro-family policies in the work place, employers merely pay lip service to these efforts. In particular, for women who need to undergo assisted reproduction, employers are discriminatory to be polite, almost hostile to be frank.

It is widely known that treatments such as IVF are highly intensive, expensive and require patients to have ample rest while undergoing such treatments to maximize success. Unfortunately, I have experienced discrimination first hand while undergoing IVF and would like to make known what has happened. My medical leave granted post IVF treatment by the fertility specialist from a restructured hospital was rejected by my company and deducted from my annual leave. Upon asking the reason for rejecting a valid medical certificate from a highly qualified medical doctor, HR said it’s was not fair to the others (I guess “others” means those who are single, don’t want kids or have no need for assisted reproduction.) I was disappointed to say the least and even angry, I tried my best to facilitate work and inform my bosses and colleagues well in advance of my intention to undergo fertility treatment. I even made sure to delay my plans in order to complete a major project that took two years and many late nights working. In the end, this is how the company supports me in my desire to start a family. Goodness sake, this isn’t plastic surgery or some frivolous medical procedure, this is in line with one of our nation’s most important priorities and pressing issues. So in spite of all the efforts of the government, it’s all merely posturing when companies openly go against national policies and efforts. Isn’t there something that can be done to ensure those who want very much to start families thru assisted reproduction treatments are not discriminated against?

Ironically the company that I work for is a European financial institution which emphasizes work family life balance (at least to my knowledge back in its HQ country and its European operations), somehow this emphasis is completely lost in its Singapore branch. Flexible work arrangements granted to employees transferred from London are completely off limits to local employees. Of course this isn’t explicit but any local employee knows not even to dream about it. I digress but cannot help but imagine a grand conspiracy, that Singaporeans are not really wanted in Singapore Inc.

Guest

1 Sep 2012, 12.24PM

Regarding your last sentence, I see it as real not imagined. They need us, but fear our power to unseat them and destroy their ambitions. They try to cow us down but not out. That is why they only pay lip service to the people while persist in their ambitions. They are getting no where and both sides know it.

Fat MaMa

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 10.34AM

Government is working on the wrong point.

I would encourage men dont get married, the real problem lies with cost and standard of living. Expectation of life gets higher. Women are not like the past, they expect equality but at the same time generosity from guys.

Money is the reality, men are expected to pay. Women expect to enjoy life after marriage. This is impossible nowadays unless the guy earns more than $10,000 a month.

What happens is that divorce eventually take place. No happy marriage will happen. What makes it worse is women charter protects women to the point that women can misuse them. e.g. wife commits adultery (really common) then get wife maintenance, wife not taking care of child but gets custody, wife gets share of assets.

Men basically lose everything. No child, no money, no wife, no house. Better off not getting married.

Eventually, men do not propose to women. Women don't propose to men.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 9.10PM

With equality, many women are earning as much, if not, more than the men.
It is just women's nature to look for emotional support (love) and security in a marriage.
And security, in most cases, is financial security that can provide a quality of lifestyle that the wife needs.
The sad fact is many men alone can't provide the quality of lifestyle Singapore women need.
I believe there are still many Singapore women who will contribute to a happy marriage.
All the best to your search!
Maybe education/seminar/workshop on the roles of husband and wife, parents will set the expectation right for both Singapore men and women.

Guest

30 Aug 2012, 4.52PM

Totally agree! Because of the high cost and standard of living, no men in Singapore could provide the comforts of a good life for their wives. They cannot afford it even if they want to! Everything is so expensive, everything must be taxed, everything is increasing in price and the government expects the people to breed like stray cats and dogs. We don't pick up food from the rubbish dump to feed our children and it is illegal to not let your child go to school in Singapore. The help and assistance that the goverment is providing is not even reducing half of the burden of having a family in Singapore.

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 7.09AM

78 childcare centres coming up soon and

90% belongs to NTUC and PCF.

Is this fair to private operators who are

already paying high rent and facing strong

competition from the government ?

Guest

30 Aug 2012, 5.48PM

the decision was made to open 78 child care centres as the private sector was obviously unable to address 2 main problems - 1) unable to meet the demand; 2) unabated rising fees of private operators

Guest

27 Aug 2012, 8.49PM

Firstly, saying is easy but Working it out may be hard, i wonder what roles were all the govt agencies be playing? what roles will ICA, HDB etc be? lets talk about housing issues, if a person is a 2nd time house buyer and single what can HDB help in this area cos this important without a house how to get marriage & produce the next generation if the can't even had a roof over his top?

secondly, there is a portion of singaporean who have foreign wives, in what way can ICA assist them to produce babies the question may look funny but just think if the spouse can't even get long term passes to stay in Singapore how can they had the mind of giving births, surely the couples would not want to produce the next generation with the fear that the spouses may have to go to their own homeland. so Mr DPM TEO, u have ask the people to have more babies can we know what measures you could assist?

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 12.11AM

(Part 2)
5. Grandparents – we cannot assume that grandparents will always be available or able to care for their grandchildren when the time comes. Take my mother for instance. She has hit the retirement age this year, and has re-contracted with her company to work for three more years. It is wonderful to see her being able to continue working as she finds great satisfaction in her job, but that also means that we are still on our own for the next 2-3 years. Caring for an infant is back breaking work (my baby is already 10kg at 8 months) and my mother has difficulty carrying heavy loads, thus she couldn’t manage on her own either even if she wishes to, which is why we have supported her decision to continue working. With many in my generation marrying late as well, I can only imagine that by the time my grandchildren arrive (if any), I’ll either be working or need to be taken care of myself. Although my mom has agreed to help us when our child is older, she’ll be 70 years old by the time my son is in N2. I can only hope by then she is still able, and that my boy would have learnt how to take care of himself and not give grandma too much work.

6. Teachers workload – I was surprised to learn that our infant care teachers also have to write reports. I think this outsourcing of administrative work is getting way out of hand!! With a student-teacher ratio of 3:1, it is already a 300% job for the teachers to care for the infants. Please, please don’t ask them to write reports. They have no time for it. When I’m home alone with my baby I barely have time to sit down and write a proper email. Hire a full time administrator to do the administrative jobs. Getting teachers to do administrative work is neither efficient nor effective. And we wonder why our productivity and job satisfaction is nose diving.

7. AFFORDABILITY - time, resources and $. Yes, in essence, that is the key consideration in every parent/ to be parent's mind. It does not translate just to HDB flats and subsidies. Please address this in a holistic manner. It would help to think of policies that would improve our children's well being rather than what would make economic sense. Every child need their father and mother in their lives, not substitutes who love and care for them on behalf of their real moms and dads. I was brought up at my grandmothers place and although I was doted on by everyone there, I've always missed my working parents. We need policies in place to help build healthy families and give everyone a sustainable lifestyle.

Guest

28 Aug 2012, 11.20PM

Note: These are my personal opinions and ideas, just to jot down and share. No time to do extensive research, so paiseh if some points are not accurate. Constructive / thought provoking comments welcome.

Getting married less than a month ago, and planning to have kids in the next few years, the National Day messages from PM and former MM strike a chord. My new wife and I are mentally preparing ourselves for future considerations when our children come.

From my own opinions, these are the hurdles a young couple will have to cross for the next 10 years at least when they do decide to get married.

1) Afford public housing and to shoulder the hefty loan for years to come

2) Wait for public housing to be built

3) Align timing of wedding / marriage with taking possession of flat

4) Pregnancy woes – job security, medical costs, ease vs cost of transportation

5) Childbirth woes – maternity and paternity leave, medical costs, ease vs cost of transportation, getting back into the workforce

6) Early Childhood – Childcare options, parental leave, medical costs, ease vs cost of transportation

7) Until Adolescence - medical costs, ease vs cost of transportation, cost of education and enrichment

To keep this simple, my thoughts are only applicable to:

Married Singaporeans – married couple, both with Singaporean citizenship

Children – below age of 12

A Multi-Ministry / Departmental approach:

Ministry of National Development

- Plan for oversupply New HDB Flats ahead of rushing to meet demand

This should bring construction costs down as developers are not rushing for completion.
This will provide more choices for young married couples.

- New HDB Flat Pricing vs Additional Housing Grant & CPF Housing Grant for Family

At $40,000, grants are paltry compared to the $500,000 price tag on some new HDB flats. Propose a cost-plus model of New HDB flats, or increasing grants to $100,000. Due to eligibility criteria, such policies should not affect the resale market and thus the value of existing flats to a great extent. If one of HDB’s goals is to provide affordable housing to citizens, I think it could afford to earn a little less moving forward – or risk pricing out its own target market.
Are new HDB flats too expensive? I learnt that for the same monetary value in Australia, one can get landed property with 5 times the built up area. Discounting location and other factors, that is still mind-boggling. With cheap foreign labour, no import issues, do our building materials really cost that much?
Quality of building material may not be always value for money. Now our flat has engineered wood flooring. I came across foreign websites explaining that engineered wood is made by fitting a thin layer of more attractive (and more expensive) wood, cross grain over a thicker layer of hardy but cheaper solid wood. This lowers the cost and strengthens the floor. However the engineered wood floor I have is the thin layer of more attractive wood fitted over compressed chip wood. My guess is my floor is inferior quality to that of the foreign seller.

Ministry of Health

- Medical costs of Pregnancy, Childbirth & Infant Care

Do not have enough information yet, but my guess is Singaporeans are still paying a lot of money for above, especially if there are complications. Propose medical costs related to pregnancy, child birth and infant care for the 1st year in public hospitals for married Singaporean couples be absorbed entirely by the state – to ensure families can afford the important medical care required for the 1st year of the child’s life.
The increased cost burden will have to be borne by increased medical costs for the same care on foreigners who choose bear children here – ultimately their child will gain by virtue of citizenship. Foreigners who work here can choose to return to their home country to give birth, if that is more affordable.

Guest

30 Aug 2012, 9.19PM

As someone has said the 1st move is imperative, we must get out soul back, our soul which has focus on monetary gains and economic benefits at whatever the costs to the extent of even having 2 casinos in our midst, once we dump the casinos, we show we mean business in our objectives on marriages and parenthood, otherwise it is purely talking only. How far can we go when we have 2 casinos that are affecting marriages, divorces, husband wife relationships, society, moral values and so forth?

Once casinos are dumped, we then can see hope and clarity in our mission that no everything is calculated in terms of economics benefits whatever the costs.

Without such a 1st move, it becomes pure talking point for TV shows only.

Guest

6 Sep 2012, 12.50AM

housing:

the income ceiling has been raised from $8k to $10k. For a newly wed couple, that means it is approx $5k/capital. However, for a family of 4 (husband & wife+ 2kids), the average income per capital is $2.5k. The need for family of four is more (medical, childcare, food and etc) whereas the amount of available $$ to spend is less. It will be great that the measurement can be modfied to average income rather than total income per household. This will motivate te couples to have more kids.

Guest

26 Aug 2012, 11.59PM

I belong to the 40%, so this article has nothing to do with us.

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